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Survey of the Week

WOMAN—AGE 24

I’m working on grad school. I’m still not sure what I want to be when I grow up. I consider myself mostly straight. I’ve been in a relationship for 6 months. The sex is very good, maybe 4 times a week. But we don’t kiss as much as we did when we first started dating:(

I almost think I might be bi or maybe more. I’ve had 7 sexual partners. 3 were casual relationships. I have been taking the pill for a long time. I’m pretty happy with it. I also use condoms when I am first with someone new or if we have period sex.

When I first see a guy’s penis, I think about how big or small it is. Makes me shallow I know. Most of the guys I’ve been with have been, well, average but I like them that way.

In American porn, the penises are just unrealistically big. Thanks to a former Dutch boyfriend, I found that most European porn is much more realistic in penis size.

If a guy could go down on me for an hour, I’m not sure what I would do… That’s a girl’s dream.

When I first started having sex, I wish I knew what to expect. I wish I knew how clumsy and awkward it would be, and how to properly use a condom and other birth control information. Also, I wish I had started masturbating. Then I would have known what I like.

With experience, I’ve learned what feels good for me, how I like to get off and that with the right stimulation I can squirt just a little, and that my vagina is my best friend. With experience, I’ve learned that what turns a guy on is different for each guy, that penises are mostly the same—some are cut and some aren’t but beyond that…

When I was younger and I looked at porn, I thought that was what sex was supposed to be like. But as I got older, I realized that was not what sex really is.

Without a doubt, porn has negatively impacted some of my partners. I had one partner who constantly wanted me to blow him and let him cum on my face. Another wanted to keep trying all these weird moves he saw in porn, or wanted to use strange objects. Sorry, but a carrot was just too much.

One of my best sexual experiences was when my boyfriend took me on a mini vacation to nice hotel. He reserved a room with a jacuzzi and a balcony. We didn’t leave the room for four days. We made slow love so many times—in the jacuzzi, in the shower, on the balcony at midnight. The sex was the best I’ve ever had. It was a shame he had to go back to The Netherlands at the end of the semester.

One of my worst sexual experiences was the first time I had sex. I was not the best looking girl at school and just wanted to lose my virginity. I ended up with a jerk who was willing to pay attention to me. We went to a sleazy motel and he tried to get his penis into me but just could not figure it out. Finally, he got it in and lasted for less than a minute, said “Thanks” and left. I felt used and dirty after that.

I’ve had guys send me dick pics a couple of time. If it’s from a guy I am dating it’s cool, maybe, but when some random guy sends me one – UGH.

As for non-vanilla sex, I like to be on top, not sure if that counts as non-vanilla. I kind of like to be spanked sometimes. I’m on top nearly half the time when we have sex, but getting spanked almost never happens.

I’ve been with women twice. It was weird and strange the first time. I did it because a boyfriend asked me to and all that happened was she went down on me and I fingered her. Second time, I was actually picked up in a bar, we talked and hit it off. I went home with her. It just felt right. We kissed and made out and I went down on her and she on me. She broke out some toys and until then had no idea how nice a vibe could be. It was really great.

I haven’t had anal sex with a penis, but I let the current guy slide a finger in my ass when he gives me head sometime. But beyond that, no.

When I’m in a relationship, I almost never masturbate. When I’m not in a relationship, I masturbate 2 or 3 times a week. I’ve never masturbated together with my partner. That has never happened.

If there’s one thing I could do better in bed, I would tell my partner what I like and what feels good. I’m not very good at that now.

Some of the things my partner and I could do better is just listen to each other, share what we like and share our fantasies.

I really like it when my partner surprises me, when they make it all about me so I don’t have to worry about their pleasure. I hate when my partner is selfish, and gives no thought to my pleasure.

Period sex is kind of nice. It really feels, well, warmer. Orgasms really do help with the cramps. The current guy will not have period sex, even with a condom, but he will give me a hand job and get me off, so that is nice.

In my fantasy, I want to be with a couple. I want to play with her and him, and let them both pleasure me.

I like it better when my partners are less in charge, when I am more in charge of things.

My Dad was very important in my life. He was a great role model, always there to listen. He gave me great advice about dating boys. I just wish he spent a little more time on the birds and the bees.

I had one friends with benefits relationship when I was in high school with a good friend. We never really had “those” kind of feelings, but the sex was just great. I still consider it some of the best I’ve ever had. Guess you might say it’s still going on, sometimes when I am home visiting my folks we just get together for the sex.

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