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A man spanking the exposed rear end of a woman who is wearing a dress and is leaning over on a table.

Two of women’s more frequent sex fantasies

After reading more than 5,000 women’s sex surveys, two of the fantasies that come up more often than others are to have a threesome and to be spanked in a way that’s erotic. If either of these ring true and you are planning to try one or the other in real life, here are some helpful resources.

THREESOMES: CLICK HERE for a copy of the free chapter on threesomes from the Guide To Getting It On. Most threesomes involve an established couple and a third person. There are conversations the couple should have ahead of time — with each other and then with the third. And there are things the third person should consider beforehand. This chapter includes a helpful list of what to know about threesomes before having one.

SPANKING: Anyone can spank you, but doing it in a way that fills both partners’erotic needs takes effort and preparation. Fortunately, Janet Hardy’s new book Spanking for Lovers has just been released. Janet has been the publisher and author of some of the most respected books on non-vanilla sex. Her common sense approach and years of experience make her a great resource on spanking. You won’t find a better book on the subject.

Also, The Pleasure Mechanics have a helpful video on spanking called Erotic Spanking Mastery. Couples can feel comfortable watching it together.

The exceptional spanking image above is from the Blink of an Eye Tumblr.

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  • Drawing of how a scrotum with a varicocele looks.
  • Photos of two men's scrotums showing their varicocele condition.
  • Drawing of a cross section of a scrotum showing a varicocele.
  • Drawing showing normal veins and veins where the valves aren't working as a result of a varicocele.

What is a Varicocele?

The testicles need a supply of fresh blood to function correctly. It’s not difficult for the heart to pump blood into the testicles, because the flow is usually downhill. The problem is how to get the blood in the testicles back to the heart when a man is standing.

To help keep the blood from flowing backward, the veins leading away from the testicles contain small one-way valves. When these valves aren’t working correctly, the blood can pool in the veins and make them bulge like a small bag of worms. This creates a condition that’s called a varicocele.

Varicoceles are only prominent when a man is standing and the pull of gravity is at its worst. Varicoceles usually subside when he is lying down.

Approximately 1 out of 6 -to -7 boys between the ages of 15 and 25 have a varicocele. This is the age when the testicles are growing and need an increased supply of blood.

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Woman driving a car, with one hand on the steering wheel, and the other in the male passenger 's lap.

Sex Drive in The Netherlands

According to CNN: “Government ministers in the Netherlands have confirmed that it is legal for driving instructors to offer lessons in exchange for sex.”

This would explain the growing trend in The Netherlands for driver’s ed cars to be full-size instead of compact.

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Line Art illustration of a woman with a painful look on her face looking at a couple who is having intercourse with the caption "Damn that hurts."

When Sex Always Hurts

CLICK HERE to download a FREE chapter on chronic sexual pain from the Guide To Getting It On.

Few men understand how painful sex can be for some women. This isn’t pain from sex that’s rushed or rough. It’s more like when a Q-tip is pressed against a woman’s genitals and it causes her to flinch in pain. Or when intercourse with a gentle lover creates an intense burning sensation in her vagina or makes her feel like she’s being stabbed with a knife. Or when the muscles around the opening of her vagina are clamped so tight she can’t insert a tampon.

Fortunately, for plenty of women with sexual pain, it’s not this severe. But it still makes sex something they endure rather than enjoy.

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Couple with man holding a woman from behind, showing both of their breasts.

Men’s and Women’s breast tissue is more similar than we think

Until recently, scientists believed that a major difference between men’s and women’s breasts is that men’s breasts do not have the capacity to develop lobules and milk ducts. These are the structures that make it possible for women to nurse.

However, male-to-female transexuals who are taking a certain combination of drugs have been able to produce copious amounts of breast milk and have successfully breast feed babies. So while drugs alone can’t change a woman’s clitoris into a penis, the right combination of progestin, estrogen and domperidone can change a man’s breasts into fully functional female breasts.

Also, women who have a condition called AIS (where they have male pattern XY chromosomes instead of XX chromosomes) have a good chance of being able to nurse a baby if they take domperidone. So the potential to develop fully functional lobes and ducts seems to be there regardless of a person’s sex.

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Couple on bed starting to have casual sex, woman in slip on top.

Three kinds of casual sex—NSA, FWB, and Sex with an Ex

“I had a friends with benefits relationship when I was in high school with a good friend. We never really had “those” kind of feelings, but the sex was just great. I still consider it some of the best I’ve ever had. Guess you might say it’s still going on—sometimes when I am home visiting my folks we just get together for the sex.” female age 24

People often think of casual sex as being just one thing. But there are at least three very different kinds of casual sex: Sex with No Strings Attached, Friends with Benefits, and Sex with an Ex.

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Survey of the Week

WOMAN—AGE 24

I’m working on grad school. I’m still not sure what I want to be when I grow up. I consider myself mostly straight. I’ve been in a relationship for 6 months. The sex is very good, maybe 4 times a week. But we don’t kiss as much as we did when we first started dating:(

I almost think I might be bi or maybe more. I’ve had 7 sexual partners. 3 were casual relationships. I have been taking the pill for a long time. I’m pretty happy with it. I also use condoms when I am first with someone new or if we have period sex.

When I first see a guy’s penis, I think about how big or small it is. Makes me shallow I know. Most of the guys I’ve been with have been, well, average but I like them that way.

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Three couples laughing, arm in arm, with the caption "Ideas for dates"

Geocaching

It’s unlikely you’ll find condoms or a copy of the Guide To Getting It On in a Geocache. Still, Geocaching can make for a really fun date.

CLICK HERE to see a video that explains what Geocaching is.

CLICK HERE for the Geocaching website.

As for the people who whine about paying $9.95 for three months of Geocaching Premium—is everything in life supposed to be free?

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Close up of a soldier in combat.

The New Penis Transplants and Their Unexpected Side Effects

From Dr. Paul’s Blog at Psychology Today:

Most of us have heard about roadside bombs in Iraq and Afghanistan. But we seldom hear about the soldiers who had their penises amputated as a result of these bombs.

Now, the world’s first penis transplants are giving hope to these young men and their families.

You would think the biggest hurdles with the new transplants would be organ rejection or poor feeling and function. But one of the greatest challenges has been a failure of the recipient to accept the donor penis as his own—even if it has feeling and functions as well as his own penis did.

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Image of a sperm with the midpiece highlighted and the caption "Target area of the proposed male contraceptive."

New Birth Control for Men

A study was recently completed that lays the groundwork for a form of male contraception that is easily reversible and doesn’t impact men’s hormones like the pill impacts women’s hormones. The media got it wrong and made it sound like this new form of birth control is just around the corner.

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Survey of the Week

Here is one of more than 10,000 sex surveys that readers have submitted over the years. Males usually aren’t this articulate.

MALE AGE 33

I am totally straight.

I left home and became a Marine. I served my country and still wish I was. I was in a Special Incident Response Team that put me at ground zero on 9/11 for a week. Did a lot of traveling up and down the east coast. I have two kids and an ex-wife. I just got done hitting rock bottom and am now remembering who I was so I can be that person again. My goal is to better myself every day. I am valuable, confident and curious.

I’ve had approximately 20 sexual partners. 7 of them were casual sex relationships or one night stands. I am not currently in a relationship. Since my divorce I’ve had two”friends with benefits” relationships. I welcomed the relationships and I was able to be very open and free with the last woman. Both instances were hot and some of the best sex I have had. The first ended because I misread the cues and I tried to take it too far emotionally. This second was different, but I still got hung up on my emotions. I trying to learn how adapt and enjoy the freedom of “this is not going to last and it is physical only”.

I love to use my mouth on a woman and I love to give her oral sex. It’s one of my favorite things to do.

I typically will be there long enough to give her multiple orgasms. Sometimes my neck gets sore from giving oral sex. The best position I have found for me is when the woman sits on my face. Or have her sit in a chair. Slide your legs under the chair and you are right there. Advantage for her is that now she is in a really good position to watch and some women love to watch. The key to doing oral sex right is to make her as comfortable as possible and be able to sense her reaction to what you are doing. Also, the more comfortable you are the more relaxed and the longer you will spend pleasing her.

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Naked Tea! Website of the Week

The website of the week is an absolute must for tea drinkers, and fun for everyone else. It’s made up photos of naked people drinking tea. The gallery above is a sample of what you’ll see at NAKED TEA.

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