Dear Dr. Paul,
My new boyfriend is wonderful and I really want to have sex with him. But he’s huge—porn sized and then some. I’m only 5’ 2” and worried he won’t fit. I’ve had intercourse with other guys, with no problem, but he’s way bigger. Do you have any advice?
Yes, I have advice.
One of the dumbest things that people tell women with partners who are really big is “a baby can pass through your vagina…” Seriously? Have you ever heard a woman in labor who’s trying to push a baby out? Intercourse isn’t supposed to be like that.
As for your height and weight, I’m not so sure that’s a determining factor. I interviewed a woman who is as petite as can be. Her husband’s penis is in the 98th percentile for size, and she’s never had any problem with intercourse. But another woman who is 5′ 10″ might have trouble with a penis that’s average size. So you can’t predict.
I am assuming you have had a recent exam and have talked to a gynecologist about this. If there is a source of pain that is independent of your partner’s penis, it is essential you resolve it first.
Then I would suggest you and Thor call it quits on any attempts at intercourse for the next month or two. There are lots of ways you can please each other sexually besides intercourse.