Photo of a guy wearing a cap who is giving a woman oral sex.

Her first time receiving oral sex

A young woman’s answer to our sex survey question “Please describe one or two of your best sexual experiences”:

“The first time my boyfriend went down on me, I was caught completely off guard. We had been making out and he had been fingering me. When he asked if he should keep going I said, ‘Yes,’ thinking he meant doing the same. Then he began pulling down my pants and underwear and I remember thinking that I didn’t expect that but I didn’t want him to stop. As it was happening, I realized it was the first time I’d ever been naked in front of someone this way, and I instinctively covered my face with my hands. I suddenly felt overexposed. When I looked at him, he smiled at me—sweetly, reassuringly, making sure I was still okay. As he started going down I remember thinking, ‘Is this really happening?!’ The sensation was alien. The novelty of the situation prevented me from fully appreciating the sexual stimulation. But the emotional intimacy was so electric and pure that the experience was transcendent and will stay with me always.”

This very cool image is of Karly and Sean from the What You See Fit Tumblr.

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  • A woman's pubic hair protruding above the water while she's in the bath.
  • Looking between a man’s legs who is sitting and who has no shortage of pubic hair.
  • The profile of a woman from the navel to the knees who is laying on a bed with one of her legs bent at the knee, showing her pubic hair.
  • A close up of a woman's pubic hair reflecting on a dark background.

Contrary to what many young adults assume, it’s normal to have pubic hair

The people in slideshow above are from the Tumblr Slide To Unlock. They are a creative couple from the UK who have been married for more than ten years. They created their Tumblr as a chronicle of their sex life.

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Couple kissing and embracing in the shower.

Sex in the shower—Best Advice Ever!

GET GRIPPER BARS! Get ADA approved gripper bars for shower sex. The person on the receiving end can lean forward and grab the bars, making shower sex safer and more fun.

These bars start at less than $25: Moen 8942 Home Care 42-Inch Grab Bar Stainless 42 inches (4.8 out of 5 stars from 158 reviews on Amazon, but none mention sex). Also: Moen 8736 Home Care 36-Inch Grab Bar, Stainless , 18″ to 42,” (4.8 out of 5 stars from 322 reviews, but none mention sex).

The Moen Saftey Bars are rated at 500 lbs. pull strength and are ADA compliant—not that the ADA rates equipment for shower sex.

Also, if you are using a silicone-based lube, be sure to put it on while you are standing over a towel. One drop of silicone-based lube on a wet shower floor and you might as well be on slick ice.

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A couple laying next to each other, with she reading a book and having one hand casually in his sweatpants, and he looking at his laptop with one hand on her leg.


What a great way to study or just spend time together. You don’t have to be humping like bunnies to enjoy each other.

This image is from the Of the Moon and Sea Tumblr.

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An Unusual Sex Survey

We’ve now collected more than 11,000 of your sex surveys. The men’s survey answers are often predictable. That’s why this survey stood out as being unusual.

This man likes having sex with women, but he is aroused by looking at penises. He posts photos of his own penis online every day. He also enjoys transgender porn and cock’n’ball torture. So if you’re a guy who is into the things this man is, you can take solace in knowing that you’re not alone.

A 32-Year Old Man

I am a sperm-donor baby and never knew my father.

I grew up identifying as straight and have only had physical/romantic relationships with women. But now I consider myself “open to all options” and have been interacting more erotically with men in online forums. I am still strongly attracted to women, but I also find men’s genitals incredibly arousing.

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A split image, with the top side showing a sandwich piled high with bean sprouts, and the lower side with semen on a man's abdomen with a finger in the middle of it. The caption reads "sprouts versus semen."

Is semen safer to eat than sprouts?

The nation’s most prominent food safety-lawyer has made a list of the six foods he will never eat. This guy has sued Chili’s, Chi-Chi’s, Chipotle, Costco, ConAgra, Dole, KFC, McDonald’s, Odwalla, Sizzler, Taco Bell and Wendy’s. He clearly knows his food borne bacteria.

High on his list of the most dangerous foods are raw bean sprouts—including alfalfa, mung beans, clover and radish sprouts. These can make you very sick due to bacterial contamination of their seeds.

Bean sprouts smell like semen and semen smells like bean sprouts. That’s because they both contain a chemical called spermine. But it seems like semen is safer to swallow. However, in the overall scheme of things, French kissing is probably a more frequent source of disease transmission than swallowing semen or eating sprouts.

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Image showing two couples intertwined in their underwear.

What is polyamory?

Polyamory is when a relationship involves more than two people, with the consent of everyone involved. Polyamory is a broad term which can include group relationships, or it can be a single person who chooses to have multiple relationships without an agreement of monogamy. The relationships often include friendship, love, and emotional commitment in addition to sex.

Polyamory is different from swinging. Swinging is where primary couples switch partners while everyone is in the same location. Swinging is usually more about recreational sex, while people who are into polyamory share emotional as well as sexual feelings.

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Blurry image of a naked man with an inset of a microscope view of mycoplasma genitalium.

A new STI that should make you want to use condoms

There’s a recently discovered sexually transmitted infection called Mycoplasma genitalium. It was first discovered in 1980, but researchers weren’t even sure it was an STI for several years. It is extremely small and difficult to culture, and there are no approved tests to detect it.

Some of the challenges scientists have faced with Mycoplasma genitalium are similar to the story of the blind men and the elephant. But unlike the elephant, which is one of the largest living creatures, this new STI is one of the smallest living organisms ever discovered. It has the shortest genetic code of any single-cell organism that is capable of self-replication, yet it can cause a man’s urethra to become chronically inflamed and make his penis constantly drip. Or it may be able to attach to a sperm and get a free ride up a woman’s fallopian tubes where it could possibly give her pelvic inflammatory disease.

A considerable problem in treating Mycoplasma genitalium is that it doesn’t have a cell wall. Most antibiotics work by attacking a protein in the bacteria’s cell wall. So if there’s no cell wall, there are fewer ways to kill the bacteria. Drinking a Slurpee at 7-11 would be as effective in fighting this bacteria as most front line antibiotics.

Another problem is how this new STI is quickly becoming resistant to the few treatments we do have. So if you are having casual sex or you are not exclusive, be sure to use condoms.

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A photo of Olympic medalist Gus Kenworthy.

Olympic Champion Gus Kenworthy Comes Out

Gus Kenworthy, who was an olympic freestyle skiing medalist at the 2014 Sochi Games, came out as being gay last December.

Kenworthy told Us Magazine, “I used to hook up with girls to be cool with the guys; there were times I would cry afterwards.” (Some of the women he dated included Miley Cyrus and figure skater Gracie Gold.)

“I was worried I’d be known as ‘the gay skier’… and everything else about me would be overlooked.” Nothing of the sort happened. Friends and family have been incredibly supportive.

Kenworthy says it’s insane how many gay athletes have since come out to him, several who are still closeted. Because he competes in such a rugged action sport, he feels like he is helping battle gay stereotypes.

From US Magazine. From Pink News.

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Man on moisture wicking boxer briefs and woman athlete in moisture wicking uniform.

Moisture Wicking Underwear and Sportswear

We’ve always been told that cotton is best, especially for the crotches of women’s underwear. But that’s no longer the case now that we have third generation mositure-wicking fabrics.

Moisture wicking fabrics are much thinner than cotton. They are designed with special fibers that whisk moisture and sweat away from your skin and distribute it over the outer surface of the fabric, where it can dry quickly. This is very different from cotton, which holds moisture in the center of the fabric and takes a long time to dry.

Moisture wicking fabric also has antibacterial properties. That’s because it dries quickly so bacteria can’t form inside of it like it does inside of cotton — so your underwear is less likely to smell like the inside of a boys’ high school locker room.

Young man with a very sweaty teeshirtCotton holds sweat like this.

Thanks to The Underwear Expert for an explanation of moisture wicking material.

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Most guys are not porn sized

The average erection is between 5.25 and 5.5 inches long.

Click the navigation for a slideshow of normal-sized men.

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A man spanking the exposed rear end of a woman who is wearing a dress and is leaning over on a table.

Two of women’s more frequent sex fantasies

After reading more than 5,000 women’s sex surveys, two of the fantasies that come up more often than others are to have a threesome and to be spanked in a way that’s erotic. If either of these ring true and you are planning to try one or the other in real life, here are some helpful resources.

THREESOMES: CLICK HERE for a copy of the free chapter on threesomes from the Guide To Getting It On. Most threesomes involve an established couple and a third person. There are conversations the couple should have ahead of time — with each other and then with the third. And there are things the third person should consider beforehand. This chapter includes a helpful list of what to know about threesomes before having one.

SPANKING: Anyone can spank you, but doing it in a way that fills both partners’erotic needs takes effort and preparation. Fortunately, Janet Hardy’s new book Spanking for Lovers has just been released. Janet has been the publisher and author of some of the most respected books on non-vanilla sex. Her common sense approach and years of experience make her a great resource on spanking. You won’t find a better book on the subject.

Also, The Pleasure Mechanics have a helpful video on spanking called Erotic Spanking Mastery. Couples can feel comfortable watching it together.

The exceptional spanking image above is from the Blink of an Eye Tumblr.

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  • Drawing of how a scrotum with a varicocele looks.
  • Photos of two men's scrotums showing their varicocele condition.
  • Drawing of a cross section of a scrotum showing a varicocele.
  • Drawing showing normal veins and veins where the valves aren't working as a result of a varicocele.

What is a Varicocele?

The testicles need a supply of fresh blood to function correctly. It’s not difficult for the heart to pump blood into the testicles, because the flow is usually downhill. The problem is how to get the blood in the testicles back to the heart when a man is standing.

To help keep the blood from flowing backward, the veins leading away from the testicles contain small one-way valves. When these valves aren’t working correctly, the blood can pool in the veins and make them bulge like a small bag of worms. This creates a condition that’s called a varicocele.

Varicoceles are only prominent when a man is standing and the pull of gravity is at its worst. Varicoceles usually subside when he is lying down.

Approximately 1 out of 6 -to -7 boys between the ages of 15 and 25 have a varicocele. This is the age when the testicles are growing and need an increased supply of blood.

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Woman driving a car, with one hand on the steering wheel, and the other in the male passenger 's lap.

Sex Drive in The Netherlands

According to CNN: “Government ministers in the Netherlands have confirmed that it is legal for driving instructors to offer lessons in exchange for sex.”

This would explain the growing trend in The Netherlands for driver’s ed cars to be full-size instead of compact.

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Line Art illustration of a woman with a painful look on her face looking at a couple who is having intercourse with the caption "Damn that hurts."

When Sex Always Hurts

CLICK HERE to download a FREE chapter on chronic sexual pain from the Guide To Getting It On.

Few men understand how painful sex can be for some women. This isn’t pain from sex that’s rushed or rough. It’s more like when a Q-tip is pressed against a woman’s genitals and it causes her to flinch in pain. Or when intercourse with a gentle lover creates an intense burning sensation in her vagina or makes her feel like she’s being stabbed with a knife. Or when the muscles around the opening of her vagina are clamped so tight she can’t insert a tampon.

Fortunately, for plenty of women with sexual pain, it’s not this severe. But it still makes sex something they endure rather than enjoy.

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Couple with man holding a woman from behind, showing both of their breasts.

Men’s and Women’s breast tissue is more similar than we think

Until recently, scientists believed that a major difference between men’s and women’s breasts is that men’s breasts do not have the capacity to develop lobules and milk ducts. These are the structures that make it possible for women to nurse.

However, male-to-female transexuals who are taking a certain combination of drugs have been able to produce copious amounts of breast milk and have successfully breast feed babies. So while drugs alone can’t change a woman’s clitoris into a penis, the right combination of progestin, estrogen and domperidone can change a man’s breasts into fully functional female breasts.

Also, women who have a condition called AIS (where they have male pattern XY chromosomes instead of XX chromosomes) have a good chance of being able to nurse a baby if they take domperidone. So the potential to develop fully functional lobes and ducts seems to be there regardless of a person’s sex.

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Couple on bed starting to have casual sex, woman in slip on top.

Three kinds of casual sex—NSA, FWB, and Sex with an Ex

“I had a friends with benefits relationship when I was in high school with a good friend. We never really had “those” kind of feelings, but the sex was just great. I still consider it some of the best I’ve ever had. Guess you might say it’s still going on—sometimes when I am home visiting my folks we just get together for the sex.” female age 24

People often think of casual sex as being just one thing. But there are at least three very different kinds of casual sex: Sex with No Strings Attached, Friends with Benefits, and Sex with an Ex.

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Survey of the Week


I’m working on grad school. I’m still not sure what I want to be when I grow up. I consider myself mostly straight. I’ve been in a relationship for 6 months. The sex is very good, maybe 4 times a week. But we don’t kiss as much as we did when we first started dating:(

I almost think I might be bi or maybe more. I’ve had 7 sexual partners. 3 were casual relationships. I have been taking the pill for a long time. I’m pretty happy with it. I also use condoms when I am first with someone new or if we have period sex.

When I first see a guy’s penis, I think about how big or small it is. Makes me shallow I know. Most of the guys I’ve been with have been, well, average but I like them that way.

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Three couples laughing, arm in arm, with the caption "Ideas for dates"


It’s unlikely you’ll find condoms or a copy of the Guide To Getting It On in a Geocache. Still, Geocaching can make for a really fun date.

CLICK HERE to see a video that explains what Geocaching is.

CLICK HERE for the Geocaching website.

As for the people who whine about paying $9.95 for three months of Geocaching Premium—is everything in life supposed to be free?

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Close up of a soldier in combat.

The New Penis Transplants and Their Unexpected Side Effects

From Dr. Paul’s Blog at Psychology Today:

Most of us have heard about roadside bombs in Iraq and Afghanistan. But we seldom hear about the soldiers who had their penises amputated as a result of these bombs.

Now, the world’s first penis transplants are giving hope to these young men and their families.

You would think the biggest hurdles with the new transplants would be organ rejection or poor feeling and function. But one of the greatest challenges has been a failure of the recipient to accept the donor penis as his own—even if it has feeling and functions as well as his own penis did.

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Image of a sperm with the midpiece highlighted and the caption "Target area of the proposed male contraceptive."

New Birth Control for Men

A study was recently completed that lays the groundwork for a form of male contraception that is easily reversible and doesn’t impact men’s hormones like the pill impacts women’s hormones. The media got it wrong and made it sound like this new form of birth control is just around the corner.

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Survey of the Week

Here is one of more than 10,000 sex surveys that readers have submitted over the years. Males usually aren’t this articulate.


I am totally straight.

I left home and became a Marine. I served my country and still wish I was. I was in a Special Incident Response Team that put me at ground zero on 9/11 for a week. Did a lot of traveling up and down the east coast. I have two kids and an ex-wife. I just got done hitting rock bottom and am now remembering who I was so I can be that person again. My goal is to better myself every day. I am valuable, confident and curious.

I’ve had approximately 20 sexual partners. 7 of them were casual sex relationships or one night stands. I am not currently in a relationship. Since my divorce I’ve had two”friends with benefits” relationships. I welcomed the relationships and I was able to be very open and free with the last woman. Both instances were hot and some of the best sex I have had. The first ended because I misread the cues and I tried to take it too far emotionally. This second was different, but I still got hung up on my emotions. I trying to learn how adapt and enjoy the freedom of “this is not going to last and it is physical only”.

I love to use my mouth on a woman and I love to give her oral sex. It’s one of my favorite things to do.

I typically will be there long enough to give her multiple orgasms. Sometimes my neck gets sore from giving oral sex. The best position I have found for me is when the woman sits on my face. Or have her sit in a chair. Slide your legs under the chair and you are right there. Advantage for her is that now she is in a really good position to watch and some women love to watch. The key to doing oral sex right is to make her as comfortable as possible and be able to sense her reaction to what you are doing. Also, the more comfortable you are the more relaxed and the longer you will spend pleasing her.

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Naked Tea! Website of the Week

The website of the week is an absolute must for tea drinkers, and fun for everyone else. It’s made up photos of naked people drinking tea. The gallery above is a sample of what you’ll see at NAKED TEA.

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Nice black and white shot of an unmade bed.

A simple suggestion to help a guy get laid

Assuming she’s into you, your chances of getting laid will go way up if you have clean sheets and clean towels, a clean bathroom, and your dirty clothes aren’t all over the floor. You may not notice, but many women will.

Image from Our Public Privates.

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Three couples laughing, arm in arm, with the caption "Ideas for dates"

Date Idea: College Volleyball or Gymnastics

If there’s a college nearby with a volleyball or gymnastics team, you can take a date for a fun and not every expensive evening. These are two sports that will give you time to talk between the action, and are held indoors for winter.

Women gymnastics competitors and male volleyball players.

Bringing you a new dating idea every week.

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Image of a guy holding a condom with his pants unzipped.

54 Condom Sampler Packs

Never assume that one size or shape of condom is best for all.

One of the best ways to get a condom that’s right for you and your partner is to try sampler packs. Find a brand that works well for both of you, and stock up. (Women can feel condoms, so be sure your partner is part of the selection process if you have a female partner.)

Here’s the most extensive list of links for condom sampler packs on the planet:

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