Dear Dr. Paul,

My boyfriend and I have not had sex, but when I’ve touched his foreskin he says it hurts him. If I retract the skin its too much for him, it hurts. But when I don’t, he doesn’t feel anything. He hasn’t had sex with anyone. I will be his first. He masturbates with the skin all the way up. It never seems to retract. Honestly, I’ve been doing most of the research and he doesn’t know what the problem is. I think it may be mild phimosis.

YouTube viewer of Your Video “A Woman’s Guide To Men’s Foreskins”

Dear YouTube Viewer,

It’s never a good sign when you’re the one having to figure out what’s going on with a boyfriend’s penis! That said, I forwarded your question to Marilyn Milos, who is the founder of NoCirc and probably knows more about foreskins than most people alive. Here’s what she said:

My first question to her would be, does he say it hurts when she touches his non-retracted foreskin and penis or when she has touched the glans? The glans can be sensitive in the same that the eyeball is sensitive.

Has his foreskin ever been fully retractable? Ask him to retract it to see how far back it goes before it becomes painful. He should not try to force it. Retraction should be done by gently pulling the foreskin towards the body. The same type of pulling occurs when he gets an erection. It should never be forced!

She should ask him how he masturbates and gets off. He could show her so she could get the idea of the kind of movement he needs. Usually, when men have non-retractile foreskins, the movement of the foreskin within the vaginal walls and against the glans and corona are enough to get him off.

And, finally, if he wants to have a fully retractile foreskin (some males never do), he can do some gentle stretching. One man had a pinpoint opening at the age of 25, was about to get married and wanted his foreskin to retract prior to the wedding. So every evening, he would gently insert just his little finger at first. As the foreskin opening began to widen, he was able to use his forefinger and then his first two fingers to widen his foreskin. The process took about four to five months of gentle stretching. His foreskin became fully retractile and has remained that way for the past 51 years without difficulty or any problems over the course of time. If pain is involved, it is causing damage, so all stretching should be always be gentle.

I’d like to add: if there are medical concerns, he should consult with a foreskin friendly physician. Also, some healthcare provides will prescribe a cream with a high dose of hydrocortisone for the man to massage into his foreskin. This type of cream has a much higher dose of cortosine than what you can get over the counter. But the foreskin will return to where it was as soon as you stop using the cream. So this isn’t always the best solution.

The cool image of the Barbie-like nurse is by way of the Stuff in My Dick Tumblr.